I’m very confused by this concept and I’m not sure why this is a thing. When I signed on the dotted line to be your friend, I totally didn’t expect you to slip an emotional abuse clause into it in the millisecond prior to the print of my John Hancock. Yes, I consider it emotional abuse for you to bombard me with the taxing details of your personal life and then fall into a frenzy when I have an opinion on it. But it doesn’t stop there, you have those who will boldly come back to you about the same situation when it falls apart and they require assistance picking up the pieces.
This is just not what friendship looks like to me.
People who don’t care about you have no reason to be concerned about your life, nor to comment on it. Requesting of me to sit back and watch you booboo the fool out here whilst you bind me in a gag order, you are basically asking me to detach myself from caring about you. I cannot do a halfway investment in a friendship. Eventually, I’m going to start looking at you differently if I must block how I feel about what you’re dealing with from my commentary. It’s just no longer authentic.
Another side of this is me hearing that I’m too blunt. Cool. There’s a way to do it all. But, there’s a tedious process involved in sugar coating the truth that I won’t participate in. BUT, regardless of all that, me being “too blunt” is not a good enough reason to reject truth or perspective. What you want then is a loving, caring parent or a shrink. And take it from someone who’s had one, shrinks aren’t always the sweetest in every session. And that truth still stings when they say it “nicely”.
I’ve always been told that I’m a good listener. And I appreciate that. But being a good listener cannot turn into me becoming your emotional garbage can. You dump your problems off into my mental and walk away feeling better having gotten it off your chest and I’m supposed to make myself available for the deed again whenever you’re ready. I remember a situation when I refrained from offering my two cents to a friend who was super resistant to “being judged” by me. So later shit hits the fan and in a moment of what I thought was honesty I’m like yea, I had a feeling this would pan out this way, but I figured it was best to let you see it yourself. Homegirl was super unhappy I didn’t speak. And I was dumbfounded.
It just gets harder and harder to give you that sympathy when we’re literally talking about the same dude who’s been dogging you out week after week ever since freshman year of college. And then when you for real seek my advice you do what you want anyway only to come back next week to tell me your way ain’t work. I personally don’t choose to go through the hamster wheel of insanity with you. At some point, I stop feeling like a friend and start feeling like you’re clearly enjoying torturing me.
Am I being too harsh?